All hail John Cena. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but he’s making his triumphant return (again) tonight, meaning I’m not ordering this PPV. I’m hoping WWE won’t give him the title upon his return, but I’m sure they will.

Also, we’ve got the extra wrinkle of Jeff Hardy being “found unconcious” in Boston. I’d love to see them book this so that he overcomes all the odds and still wins the title, but I fear some kind of deal where he’s taken out of the match completely. It would be cool to see him limp down to the ring halfway through.

Here’s tonight’s card:

• World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena v. Chris Jericho(c)
• WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy v. Vladamir Kozlov v. Triple H(c)
• Casket Match: Undertaker v. Big Show
• Survivor Series Match: Team Orton (Randy Orton, Shelton Benjamin, Cody Rhodes, William Regal and Mark Henry) v. Team Batista (Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, Matt Hardy and R-Truth)
• Survivor Series Match: Team JBL (JBL, Kane, MVP, Miz and John Morrison) v. Team HBK (HBK, Cryme Tyme, Rey Mysterio and Great Khali)
• Survivor Series Match: Raw Divas v. Smackdown Divas (seriously, I’m not writing those out)

As always, here’s the obligatory “will you order the show?” poll:

Feel free to leave your predictions and discuss Survivor Series here. If there’s any more news throughout the day regarding the show, I’ll update this post.

Editor’s Note: Don’t forget to vote on the podcast poll below! This week’s question: should Sting sign a short-term contract with the WWE in 2010?

Remember, tonight’s Raw is the 800th edition of the show, and thus, a special three-hour episode, starting at 8e/7c.

Here’s what’s on the docket tonight match-wise:

• Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho v. Batista(c)
• D-Generation X v. The Miz and John Morrison
• 16 Diva Tag Team Match

You know, if WWE wanted to make this show really “special,” they might try to come up with a full-card ahead of time and give it that “Clash of the Champions” feel. I guess that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

Discuss the 800th edition of Raw here.

Tonight is the night that WWE let’s YOU, the FANS decide the matches! Yippee! I bet everyone is pissing their pants with excitement over Cyber Sunday.

Well, not really. I see two matches on the following card I’d like to watch:

• WWE Championship: Triple H(c) v. Vladamir Kozlov; OR Jeff Hardy; OR Vladamir Kozlov and Jeff Hardy
• Undertaker v. Big Show: Last Man Standing match; OR I Quit match; OR Knockout match
• World Heavyweight Championship: Batista v. Chris Jericho(c) with special guest ref Randy Orton; OR Shawn Michaels; OR Stone Cold Steve Austin
• Kane v. Rey Mysterio: Falls Count Anywhere Match; OR No Holds Barred Match; OR Best 2-of-3 Falls Match
• ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy(c) v. Finlay; OR Mark Henry; OR Evan Bourne
• Intercontinental Championship Match: Santino Marella(c) v. Honky Tonk Man; OR Rowdy Roddy Piper; OR Goldust
• Pick the Tag Team Match: World Tag Team Championship: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase v. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston; OR John Morrison and The Miz v. Cryme Tyme; OR William Regal and Layla v. Jamie Noble and Mickie James
• Divas Halloween Costume Contest

So yeah, that’s the card. WWE will also stream a match before the show on their web site where you can pick Shelton Benjamin’s opponent: MVP, R Truth or Festus.

Of course, the two matches I’d be interested in are Undertaker v. Big Show and, surprisingly, Kane v. Rey Mysterio. I’d like to see an I Quit match between Taker and Show; I’m not really sure what the difference is between a Last Man Standing match or a Knockout match. I’d like to see Kane and Rey Mysterio simply because I’m hoping for falls count anywhere–Rey Rey is pretty entertaining in those types of matches.

Here’s the requisite “Will you watch the show” poll:

Tonight’s Raw marks WWE’s last chance to hit the “reset” button before the annual crapfest known as Cyber Sunday. Raw has been unwatchable for weeks, so let’s hope they give forth a good effort tonight.

I can’t seem to find any actual matches announced for Raw tonight, so who knows what they’ll come up with. Feel free to try and predict the main event for tonight’ show. I’ll guess Chris Jericho and Kane v. Rey Mysterio and Batista.

In other Raw news, the November 3 edition of Raw has been confirmed by WWE to be a three-hour show. The way the booking has been going, they might want to make the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay watch that edition of Raw–they’d be talking after thirty minutes. I guarantee you it would be way more effective torture than lame waterboarding.

In a press release to the Tampa media, WWE promoted the following matches for that night’s Raw:

The two big main event matches will be WWE World Heavyweight Championship Cage Match fights featuring Chris Jericho vs. Batista and DX vs. The Miz and John Morrison!

Normally I wouldn’t mind the cage match, but didn’t we just see Chris Jericho wrestle for the title in a cage against C.M. Punk? It seems like the bookers in the WWE have become fixated on cage matches and triple-threat matches. How about something new? And by new I definately don’t mean another freaking DX reuinion. One night only folks, we swear! UGH.

Discuss Raw here.

Apparently Mike Adamle is off “meeting with the McMahons” tonight, so Chris Jericho has been “put in charge” of Raw. See how I did the quotation marks there–that’s so you know that wrestling isn’t real! Sorry, Marcus.

Only match I’ve seen announced so far is Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio v. Mark Henry and Kane. That should be pretty interesting after the way the Kane/Mysterio match ended last night. Remember, Mysterio was saying that he couldn’t feel his legs after he collided with the chair at the end of the match. It honestly seemed so realistic part of me wants to think that it was real, but I’m sure it wasn’t.

By the way, for those of you who didn’t see No Mercy, on the whole, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, I’d recommend watching it if you get the chance. The early portion of the show was pretty lame, as my comments on the discussion post reflected, but the final three matches were excellent, despite the way that Triple H won. Jericho/HBK was easily one of the best matches I’ve seen in a long time, although I know a lot of you will probably consider it “stale” since it doesn’t meet your high standards of feud-booking.

Hell, even the Taker/Big Show match delivered. I think that’s about as good as it gets when you’ve got two big men in the ring, and I thought the way that Big Show “KOed” Taker was pretty compelling–it’s definitely something different.

Discuss Raw, or whatever else is on your mind, here!

(UPDATE 9:52 p.m.) Here are tonight’s results:

• World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match: Chris Jericho(c) d. Shawn Michaels to retain
• WWE Championship Match: Triple H(c) d. Jeff Hardy to retain
• Big Show d. Undertaker via KO
• Number One Contender’s Match: Batista d. JBL
• Rey Mysterio d. Kane via DQ
• Women’s Championship Match: Beth Pheonix(c) d. Candice Michelle to retain
• ECW Championship: Matt Hardy(c) d. Mark Henry to retain

Let’s face it: if you’re ordering No Mercy, it’s probably based on the strength of the main event. Outside of Jericho and HBK going at it in a ladder match, the rest of the card is a wash.

I think that’s mostly the bookers on Raw’s fault–they really haven’t made fans care about their part of the card. Throwing in a mask stipulation at the last minute for Rey Mysterio and Kane’s match is just a cheap way to get heat, and JBL has become more boring than I ever remember him being.

On the Smackdown side, I’m at least mildly interested in Triple H v. Jeff Hardy and Undertaker v. Big Show.

Still, I want to see a ladder match between Jericho and HBK more than anything on TNA’s upcoming Bound for Glory PPV, so my money is going to this show based solely on that match.

Discuss WWE No Mercy here.