[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=X4s56KP9-yA&feature=related]

Great commentary be Joey Styles!

“CAAAAT Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!”

This weeks rant is up and it’s the longest episode yet, I talk about the busy weekend of MMA and pro-wrestling events, then since it’s the middle of the year I hand out mid term grades grades to TNA and the WWE and finally I make my picks for TNA’s biggest PPV of the year Slammiversary.

This weeks Rant is accompanied by the song “Shattered Memories” by PWB’s very own Jade you can download and listen to more of Jade’s music here.

-sideshowRaheem

Editor’s Note: As usual, no posting over this until tomorrow…

OK. First off, can anyone tell me WHY Kane is on this poster? He’s not even wrestling in the event, which makes no sense at all since he is the ECW Champion. I know it’s no longer “ECW One Night Stand,” but still, put the damn ECW champ on there!

Anyways, here’s the card for tonight’s show:

• TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Undertaker v. Edge
• Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton v. Triple H(c)
• First Blood Match: John Cena v. JBL
• Stretcher Match: Batista v. Shawn Michaels
• Falls Count Anywhere: Jeff Hardy v. Umaga
• Singapore Cane Match for the Number One Contender for the ECW Championship: Big Show v. John Morrison v. Chavo Guerrero v. CM Punk
• I Quit Match: Melina v. Beth Pheonix

You know what? I’ll give you guys fair warning: I’m probably going to order this show, meaning it will most likely SUCK! Eat that!

But seriously, the TLC match should be awesome, and I’m sure HBK will give us a good show in the stretcher match. Also, Jeff Hardy v. Umaga will probably be pretty crazy; since it’s Falls Count Anywhere, I can see Jeff doing something wild.

I don’t have much to say about Orton v. Triple H, but you’d figure they’ll have a pretty good match, since they’ll be trying to top the last Last Man Standing. All in all, this might not be a bad show–I just wish WWE would space out the gimmick matches more and not put them ALL on one show.

Discuss One Night Stand here.

one-night stand - noun

1. a single performance in one locale, as by a touring theatrical company, before moving on to the next engagement.
2. (slang) a one-night sex partner; sexual intercourse with a one-night partner
3. ANOTHER BLOODY PAY PER VIEW

Yes, it’s another WWE pay per view, just 2 weeks after Judgment Day (and one night after Saturday Night’s Main Event, for that matter, although to be fair that wasn’t a PPV.) One could call this Judgment Day Part II, Revenge of the Heels (or something), with the amount of rematches we have on this card. There’s 2 one-on-one rematches, which doesn’t include Vincent Kennedy McMahon vs Bobby Lindsey (Judgment Day: Vincent, Shane and Umaga vs Lindsey), and the Six-Man Tag Team Tables Match (JD: CM Punk vs Elijah Burke).

OK, so there is a few new matches, but certainly not many good ones. Kane vs Mark Henry in a Lumberjack Match? That doesn’t even make any sense - almost all of the lumberjacks will be smaller than the competitors. That’s not very threatening! Rob Van Overacting vs Another Headlock Randy in a Stretcher match? Orton’s going to chin-lock RVD to sleep and then slowly lower him onto the stretcher! Melina vs Candice in a PUDDING MATCH?!? THAT IS NOT EXTREME, VINCE! EXTREME!!!! EC-DUB IS EXTREME!!!11! Oh, but some people will say, “But Max, Candice has been improving lately and now she’s one of the best women wrestlers!” That’s like saying I have syphillis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases.

Sure, then you’ve got the Ladder Match between the Hardys and the World’s Greatest Tag Team. If you read this blog often, you’ll know my thoughts on this match already. I very much like it, although it could have been better. This is irrelevant though, onto the matches.

Kane vs Mark Henry
Lumberjack Match

I couldn’t be less looking forward to this. This match was created because on Smackdown, these two guys had a horrible match which ended with a bear hug on the floor which forced Kane to be counted out. Yes, you read that correctly. My god, it even sounds horrible. So then new assistant General Manager Vickie Guerrero (ewwwwwwwwww) made this match for One Night Stand. If it’s possible to hate her even more, I do now.

Picking a winner… I dunno. The World’s Sweatiest Man got the upper hand on Smackdown, so…

Here is your winner, THROUGH HELL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE MY GAWD ITS KANE

Rob Van Dam vs Randy Orton
Stretcher Match

This came about after some crap on WWE.com where RVD didn’t like what Orton did to HBK, so Orton requested a match, and then he beat him up, and then Van Dam oversold the RKO, and so on until we got to here. I expect this match to be full of headlocks (Orton) and botches (RVD). Great, just great. I would pick RVD to win, but he’s on the outs with the WWE. I would pick Orton to win, but he is too, along with the fact that he had the upper hand on WWE TV this week. I dunno, I’ll just guess…

Here is your winner, Another Headlock Randy?

CM Punk, Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman vs the New Breed (Elijah Burke, Matt Striker and Marcus Cor Von)
Six-Man Tag Team Tables Match

This has a possibility of being good. Remember some of the hardcore matches that have been on ECW recently? (The four-way dance, New Breed vs Originals to name the ones I mean.) This could end up something like this. Now, I’m not sure how exactly this will work. Does every man need to go through a table, or just one? I’m hoping all three, otherwise this might get cut short for that all-important pudding match. Eugh. Anyways, this is a bit of a difficult decision too. The heels need to win something on this PPV to balance it out, and Jobby Dreamer is on the other team. But, I don’t see Punk losing. I’m torn. Hmm…

Here is your winner, the team with the logo that looks like some sort of shaving logo, AKA the New Breed

The Hardys (Matt and Jeff) vs the World’s Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas)
Ladder Match
World Tag Team Championship

Well, this one’s an easy pick. This’ll probably be one of the best matches on the card, simply because the rest of the card isn’t very good. Also, the fact that we’ve got Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy (botches and all) and Shelton Benjamin running around using ladders. And Charlie Haas isn’t that bad either. (I was probably a bit mean to him in my last post.) Of course, the WGTT isn’t going to win, that wouldn’t make any sense. The Hardys’ll win this… although, I just thought of something. Cade and Murdoch looked pissed after realising they weren’t getting the title shot at One Night Stand. Maybe they’ll interfere and give the WGTT the win…

Nah.

Here is your winner, (insert teenage girls screaming)

Melina vs Candice Michelle
Pudding Match

Three burning questions for this match:

1) How is a Pudding Match classified as, ‘Extreme Rules’?
2) In which alternate universe is Melina classified as attractive?
3) How bad is this going to be?

I mean, really? These two aren’t the worst women wrestlers the WWE has, I admit. Mickie, Victoria and maybe a few others are better, but Melina is alright and Candice is improving (although you already know I compared her to a STD before. And not the wrestling move.) But two women prone to botches in a puddle of pudding (nice alliteration, self) isn’t going to be very entertaining. Wrestling-wise, at least. Still, we need a winner. Uhh… heck, they’re pushing Candice to the moon… oh, wait, this is non-title. I didn’t realise that. Yeah, now she’s definitely winning.

Here is your winner, WOOOO GO DADDY YEAH WOO [/king]

Edge vs Batista
Steel Cage Match
World Heavyweight Championship

It’s already been said a bazilliontrillionquadrillionmillionalotof times, but:

a) WHY IS BATISTA GETTING ANOTHER REMATCH, and
b) WHY IS SMACKDOWN PUTTING ON ANOTHER STEEL CAGE MATCH

Stupid Teddy Long. Look - Edge has been promised a long title run by the WWE, and Batista sucks, so…

Here is your winner, and STILL World Heavyweight Champion, ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLY

Mr. McMahon vs Bobby Lashley
Street Fight
ECW Championship

I love the fact that because Vincent loves Lindsey (and himself), the ECW title is being made more important than the World Heavyweight Title. It’s above that match on the One Night Stand site, anyways, I don’t know if it’s more important. It’s certainly not more prestigious - the belt Lex wears to work every day would be more prestigious than the ECW title at this point. OK, the match. Obviously, Lindsey’s going to win. Vince has held the title for too long and he loves Lindsey too much to keep it off him for t
wo months.

Here is your winner, and NEW ECW Tampion (as he would say), Bobby Lindsey

John Cena vs the Great Khali
Pinfalls Count Anywhere
WWE Championship

Note the wording there: pinfalls count anywhere. None of that best submission move ever, the STFU, this time. I’d just like to bring to your attention the poll on the front page of the One Night Stand site:

Did John Cena make a mistake accepting a Pinfalls Count Anywhere Match with the Great Khali?

Yes. The Great Khali has repeatedly manhandled him and has never been pinned. 46.05%
No. The Champ will overcome the odds as always. 53.94%

I just find this amusing in so many ways. “The Champ.” “Overcome the odds as always.” Oh, WWE, you crack me up. But the results show that the fans aren’t stupid. We know Cena never loses. He ALWAYS overcomes the odds. I believe that the only way to defeat Cena would be to team him up with someone like Bobby Lashley who also always overcomes the odds and put him against someone like Val Venis, or Eugene. Then there’s no odds to overcome. This happened on Raw when Cenashley faced Shane-O-Mac and the two non-English speaking and thus heels. So, as we know, as always (sigh)…

Here is your winner, and STILL WWE Champion, RAPAADDDOOOOOOOOOO

Episode 93 of Pro Wrestling Blog v2.0’s Official Podcast is now online, featuring:

• Lex’s ECW One Night Stand Preview
• Listener Feedback

If you prefer to stream this podcast, you may do so at its Internet Archive Page.

To discuss this podcast, please visit the new podcast site at www.pwbpodcast.com.

I’ll keep this short an simple, as I’m sure we all have the same opinion on this. I just wanted to bring it to PWB’s attention, if someone hadn’t seen it, yet.

WWE has pulled Benoit vs MVP from One Night Stand. They pulled it to include another match. What’s that match, you ask?

Kane vs Mark Henry in a lumberjack match. WHAT?!

The Hardys vs The World’s Greatest Tag Team in a Ladder Match. It’s a wet dream for some IWC smarks. But, yet, it could have been better. Let me explain.

Some of the best matches in WWE history were contested in the Tables, Ladders and Chairs variant, between the Hardys, Edge and Christian, and the Dudley Boys. Why not try and recreate this with the teams we’ve got now? Think about it:

The Hardys = The Hardys

Duh.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas = Edge and Christian

Two very talented wrestlers combined to make a tag team. Although they obviously don’t have the charisma of E&C, Shelton could be (if used correctly) a future WWE champ due to his incredible natural abilities, while Haas is pretty good, as far as jobbers go.

Cade and Murdoch = The Dudley Boys

Two not particularly talented wrestlers. Brawlers. Big guys. But still, entertaining. Cade and Murdoch obviously don’t have the experience or the hardcoreness of the Dudleys, but they’re still pretty close.

Obviously, they’re not going to get a match like the original TLC matches. They were fresh, new, inventive, insert other superlatives here. WGTT and Cade and Murdoch probably aren’t as good as E&C and the Dudleys, either, although that’s certainly arguable. And the Hardys aren’t as OMG XTREME as they used to be. But, still. We could have had some great nostalgia value with a three-way TLC match including the Hardys, two big guys and some talented wrestlers.

It’d be like the old days… except not as good.

Hmm. That sounds like a general thing you could say about wrestling today.